Violence in the eyes of a toddler

Princess was sitting eating her breakfast the other morning, when I informed her that she and I were going to go and get our flu shots after breakfast. At first I thought that she would throw a temper tantrum because she has had shots before and knows the drill quite well. I was shocked when she looked up at me and said,

"But mom, we don't shoot babies!!"

I just about fell over backwards laughing. She was so serious, and when I didn't answer her, she said again,"

"Mom, we don't shoot babies."

Apparently her views of shooting babies and mine differ slightly. I honestly don't know where she comes up with this stuff. I mean we don't have a rule in our house like, you can shoot a raccoon, you can shoot an intruder, you can shoot a stray cat...but you cannot shoot a baby. Unfortunately for her, her little try at reverse psychology failed, and she was taken to the Dr's office and shot (so to speak).

The Songs We Sing.

Princess has become more involved in karaoke in the last few days which is quite funny concidering that she just turned 3. Anyway, she has picked quite the aray of songs to sing, all of which are now stuck running through my head over and over, so guess what?! I am going to share them with you, so they can be stuck in your head, running over and over.

Where's Waldo...err Princess

Here is a fun little game, a reminiscence of those Where's Waldo books from your childhood. Ok, so here is the object of the game: Attempt to find my Princess who is hiding somewhere in her room. The winner will get... a million bucks, a new car, free lunch, the satisfaction of knowing you won! On your mark, get set, GO!!





Now, wasn't that fun?! Truth be told, the Princess wasn't really hiding, but was dead asleep.

Gifts from a toddler...

So Princess and I were driving in the car the other day, heading out on a shopping expedition. Now usually Princess is quiet during car rides, as she is usually involved in one of the many toys or books that are reserved specially for car rides., but today she was being quite chatty. While we are cruising down the freeway, she began to say, "I don't want it! I don't want it!" Now, usually when she says that, she is meaning a toy or a book that she has grown tired of, and no longer wants it in her general vicinity, so when she said that, I reached my hand back to the back seat to have her give me whatever it was she didn't want. She placed something in my hand, and said, "Thanks Mom!"
Now imagine my surprise, when I bring my hand back around, to discover the my caring princess has given me a booger that she just picked out of her nose!! EWWWWW!!! Now let me preface this by saying, I can deal with blood, guts and gore to my hearts content, hey, the more the merrier. But when it comes to boogers or vomit...COUNT ME OUT! So, here I am, cruising along at 75mph, and stuck with a booger in my hand trying not to freak out, and trying to find something to wipe it on. There are only 2 things I can say about this...#1 at least she didn't eat it. #2 and at least she said thanks!

Shock & Horror!

Have you ever had one of those days where you question every bit of confidence you have in being able to control your kids? I unfortunately had on of those a few days ago. While getting Princess ready to head out to run some errands, she was standing on the table (which is her safe zone from Furball) getting her shoes and coat on, when she said, "Mommy Look!" When I turned around, imagine my shock and horror when I saw this! **Disclaimer this is not for the weak of heart, weak of stomach or those easily offended.**






Yep that's right, she was flipping my the good ole' bird. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity, then the humor of the situation took over. And of course I grabbed my camera, hey I have to have pictures to embarrass her in the future. I still find the whole situation humorous, however, now I am wondering where she learned that from! I know that she probably didn't know what she was doing, but my brain is still reeling trying to figure out if I have ever done that in her presence, or if I can somehow blame hubby for this one... I am pretty sure this was not covered in "What to expect during the Toddler Years."

The Secret to Weight Loss

I've done it!! I have finally discovered the secret to loosing weight! Just use toddler sized eating utensils! How I found this out...well yea! of course there is a story behind it! Princess and I were just sitting down to enjoy a healthy dinner of Mac & Cheese, when all of the sudden, Princess got it into her head that she wanted to trade my plate for hers and my fork for hers. Being the open minded parent I am, I agreed. Little did I know, Princess was inwardly laughing at me! While she chowed down on her dinner, I struggled with getting even a meager bite on the stupid toddler sized fork! Needless to say, she finished her entire plate before I even made a dent in mine! Now I know why she eats with her fingers most of the time!
So, I introduce to you the newest weight loss product! The Toddler Fork, YES! That's right the Toddler Fork. Guaranteed to help you loose weight! Call now, supplied are limited!

Oh, how our lives have changed!

A few nights ago as Princess was preparing for her nightly bath, she got it in her little head that instead of taking a bath, a full, house wide streaking session was in order. As she was running through the house, fully in the buff, she was screaming, "I'm going to the beach!" Going to the beach?! Where in the crap does she come up with this stuff! I mean, we are pretty laid back parents but I can guarantee that hubby and I don't let her watch the nude beach channel on the satellite. So, as I was chasing her around the house, trying my best to keep a straight face, I began to reflect on how our lives have changed since Princess has learned 2 vital things...walking and talking.
When she was an infant, I never imagined that I would walk around work singing *clears throat* "3 Lights shine bright, all day, all night." (a favorite little people song that the princess loves) I never imagined that I would have to try and rationalize with her that she shouldn't put her hands in her diaper to see what is there! I never thought that I could be so embarrassed, when upon seeing a homeless guy begging in front of the store, when she screamed, "Mama!! Look its Santa" mind you it was in April not December. Never had I imagined knowing that when she is screaming, "A Clue, a clue!!!" at her father, that this means that she does not want to wear the pink pajamas, but rather the ones with paw prints on them. (just like Blue's Clues)
*Sigh* Oh, how our lives have changed. Would I go back..Naaaa, because really the true fun of parenting is not knowing what is going to pop out of that little mouth at any given time. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a naked toddler to catch...

The Wonders of Toddlerhood

As I have mentioned before, we here at the mindless household have a little 2 1/2 year old princess. (or toddler monster depending on the day) Most days in our house are pretty routine, but then she throws out her little toddler euphonium's, and throws our world for a loop. Yesterday while we were eating a nice dinner of hot dogs (a toddler staple in our house) she dropped a piece of her hot dog, which was immediately consumed by the under the table lurking ball of fur we affectionately call Tucker the dog. Now usually when this happens, it is a complete and utter toddler melt down, but yesterday she remained calm. She started pointing at something on the counter and was saying, "No, No, Drop it!" I must admit, I was quite perplexed. Now mind you, I am the toddler interpreter in our house and can usually tell what she wants and what she is trying to say, but I was at a loss. After about 10 minutes I finally figured it out, she wanted to have the remote for the dog's shock collar that he usually wears. Apparently she has seen us get the remote and point it at the dog and tell him to "Drop it!" when he has something that we want back.
So my little princess wanted to shock the heck out of the dog in order to get the little piece of hot dog back. I actually though about letting her... for a nano second..I wonder if he would actually start minding if her knew his fate of being shocked was in the hands of a very button pushing happy toddler... We might have to try that...

Life with a Toddler

So, as I have mentioned before I live with a fun little 2 1/2 year old daughter. Needless to say, we are in the midst of potty training right now. She is doing remarkably well, I think, but then again what do I know, she's our only child. Anyways, I am straying from my point. We have found that praise and excitement work extremely well for her, so when she goes potty, we get all excited and hoop and holler. So yesterday, she followed dear hubby into the bathroom and refused to leave. The next thing I know I am hearing her yell, "Yea! Daddy went Pee Pee in the Potty!!" She comes out of the bathroom yelling and jumping up and down quite excited. I have never laughed so hard in my life.