I have been brainwashed...

I think I have been brainwashed by my Princess. I was at the gym the other day, doing my time on the treadmill, absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the TV (yes they do have tv's attached to them, which I think is the best invention ever). What it took me a few minutes to notice, was that I had stopped on the Disney channel and was watching, and yes singing along with the Wiggles. Once I noticed what happened, I quickly changed the channel, hoping no one noticed, and bumped up the speed hoping to make it look like I was just working too hard to change the channel.
I really hope that I have been brainwashed by 3 years of watching toddler TV, because it really scares me to think that I might actually like this crap...

Violence in the eyes of a toddler

Princess was sitting eating her breakfast the other morning, when I informed her that she and I were going to go and get our flu shots after breakfast. At first I thought that she would throw a temper tantrum because she has had shots before and knows the drill quite well. I was shocked when she looked up at me and said,

"But mom, we don't shoot babies!!"

I just about fell over backwards laughing. She was so serious, and when I didn't answer her, she said again,"

"Mom, we don't shoot babies."

Apparently her views of shooting babies and mine differ slightly. I honestly don't know where she comes up with this stuff. I mean we don't have a rule in our house like, you can shoot a raccoon, you can shoot an intruder, you can shoot a stray cat...but you cannot shoot a baby. Unfortunately for her, her little try at reverse psychology failed, and she was taken to the Dr's office and shot (so to speak).

Keeping our mouths shut.

Lately I have been kicking myself in the proverbial butt, for some of the things I have said to, or around, my princess. They are coming back to bite me in the patoot! Such as...

"No, really its ok..." (not annoying in an of itself, but when the princess is trying to do something to you...its awful annoying!!)
"or would you like a punch in the nose?" (now we are not violent people, but when faced with either carrots or a punch in the nose..which one would you choose?)
"Moron" (I think this one is funny...Daddy not so much)
"Knock it off"
"Leave me alone"
"I'm busy"
"Look at me when I am talking to you"

I think you get the idea. Princess is exhibiting her extreme smarts lately and is now throwing things back in our faces. I think we are being fooled by this whole pre-school thing, I think they are secretly teaching her reverse psychology. I mean, crap, how can you discipline a cute toddler who is saying, "No, Mom, really its ok.." Shoot me now!

Oh, how our lives have changed!

A few nights ago as Princess was preparing for her nightly bath, she got it in her little head that instead of taking a bath, a full, house wide streaking session was in order. As she was running through the house, fully in the buff, she was screaming, "I'm going to the beach!" Going to the beach?! Where in the crap does she come up with this stuff! I mean, we are pretty laid back parents but I can guarantee that hubby and I don't let her watch the nude beach channel on the satellite. So, as I was chasing her around the house, trying my best to keep a straight face, I began to reflect on how our lives have changed since Princess has learned 2 vital things...walking and talking.
When she was an infant, I never imagined that I would walk around work singing *clears throat* "3 Lights shine bright, all day, all night." (a favorite little people song that the princess loves) I never imagined that I would have to try and rationalize with her that she shouldn't put her hands in her diaper to see what is there! I never thought that I could be so embarrassed, when upon seeing a homeless guy begging in front of the store, when she screamed, "Mama!! Look its Santa" mind you it was in April not December. Never had I imagined knowing that when she is screaming, "A Clue, a clue!!!" at her father, that this means that she does not want to wear the pink pajamas, but rather the ones with paw prints on them. (just like Blue's Clues)
*Sigh* Oh, how our lives have changed. Would I go back..Naaaa, because really the true fun of parenting is not knowing what is going to pop out of that little mouth at any given time. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a naked toddler to catch...