Gremlins

Do you remember the movie Gremilns? I totally hated this show, but then again I was quite young when it came out. Anyways, I digress. I think my 5 year old is a Gremlin...There I said it! Remember in the move you had to follow the 3 rules or all heck would break loose. Rule 1 don't get it wet, rule 2 don't feed it after midnight and rule 3 don't expose it to direct light. So, I think I may have you scratching your head wondering how or why I should compare my child to a gremlin...well let me explain. We have come to find out that if you break one of the Princess' cardinal rules, she turns from a cute, adorable little ball of lovin' to... well a nasty gremlin! She will scream, yell, throw things, hit things, well you get the idea.

So...in the interest of those who might happen to watch my gremlin, here are her cardinal rules. Don't break them, or all heck will break loose!

Rule 1- Feed me! Don't let me get hungry! Feed me even if I say I am not hungry, its a lie, I am secretly wanting to let my inner gremlin out!

Rule 2- Don't get water anywhere near my eyes! If you do...watch out!

Rule 3- Don't tease me or laugh at me. This one really gets my goat, and I shall create terror if I feel that I am being made fun of.

Rule 4- Don't let me get tired and not allow me to take a nap. If this happens be aware that the full gremlin effect will come out.

Whew! there you go! Good luck to all who happen to come in contact with my gremlin! Don't let this happen to you!

The Christmas Spirit

Get the tissues ready guys, this one is a real tear jerk-er!! Princess and I went to the local store the other day, to pick up a few goodies for our afternoon. When we checked out, I gave Princess our change, as she really likes to play with the different coins. As we were walking out, Princess stopped me, and started yelling at me to wait. I thought that she wanted to use the change to buy something out of the vending machines, but I was wrong. Sitting inside the doors was a girl from the Salvation Army, ringing her bell.
Princess said she wanted to give that girl all her money. I asked her if she was sure, and she said yes. So I walked over with her, lifted her up so she could reach the pot, and she dropped all of her money in. When I asked her why she wanted to give the girl the money, she said, "Because mom, the other little kids need it more than I do." Then she turned to the girl ringing the bell, and said, "Merry Christmas".
I have never been so proud of my daughter. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all gave to someone just because they need it... Merry Christmas!

Violence in the eyes of a toddler

Princess was sitting eating her breakfast the other morning, when I informed her that she and I were going to go and get our flu shots after breakfast. At first I thought that she would throw a temper tantrum because she has had shots before and knows the drill quite well. I was shocked when she looked up at me and said,

"But mom, we don't shoot babies!!"

I just about fell over backwards laughing. She was so serious, and when I didn't answer her, she said again,"

"Mom, we don't shoot babies."

Apparently her views of shooting babies and mine differ slightly. I honestly don't know where she comes up with this stuff. I mean we don't have a rule in our house like, you can shoot a raccoon, you can shoot an intruder, you can shoot a stray cat...but you cannot shoot a baby. Unfortunately for her, her little try at reverse psychology failed, and she was taken to the Dr's office and shot (so to speak).

Keeping our mouths shut.

Lately I have been kicking myself in the proverbial butt, for some of the things I have said to, or around, my princess. They are coming back to bite me in the patoot! Such as...

"No, really its ok..." (not annoying in an of itself, but when the princess is trying to do something to you...its awful annoying!!)
"or would you like a punch in the nose?" (now we are not violent people, but when faced with either carrots or a punch in the nose..which one would you choose?)
"Moron" (I think this one is funny...Daddy not so much)
"Knock it off"
"Leave me alone"
"I'm busy"
"Look at me when I am talking to you"

I think you get the idea. Princess is exhibiting her extreme smarts lately and is now throwing things back in our faces. I think we are being fooled by this whole pre-school thing, I think they are secretly teaching her reverse psychology. I mean, crap, how can you discipline a cute toddler who is saying, "No, Mom, really its ok.." Shoot me now!

Teaching Manners

I pride myself with having a fairly well behaved Princess. Mindless Daddy and I have strived to teach her the basics of being polite and having some social graces...Most days she shines at this but every so often she just simply amazes me! A few weeks ago, we went to the in-laws house for dinner with the entire family. Upon entering the house and instantly becoming the center of attention, Princess begins to introduce her entourage.

"Good Afternoon, I am Princess... (Laying her hand on her chest), this is my mommy," she says gesturing to me, "and this is my daddy" gesturing to her daddy.

Nice! She is progressing nicely in her Princess training! Polite introductions...Check!! Next item on the list...

Now if that didn't just blow my socks off, a few days later, we were perusing the merchandise in a local craft store. (deep down I think I may be related to Martha Stewart) As we were walking through the ribbon isle, we passed an elderly lady. At this time the lady sneezed. My Princess being ever so gracious, said, "Bless you." to the lady, who looked at her quite shocked and said "Thank you." to which Polite Princess replied, "You're Very Welcome, Do you need a tissue?" She said no thank you, and Princess and I said goodbye and moved on our way. As we walked away I noticed the lady staring at us in some type of awe. We just kept walking, but I could not hide the beaming smile on my face!! And all the kept running through my mind is, "Damn I'm GOOD!!"

Kids and Dogs...are pretty much the same....right?!

As I have mentioned before, we have a monster dog at our house. Most days he has free reign of the downstairs of our house. Unless he is being naughty or we have company over at our house dose he get put into his kennel. Most days it just sits empty, annoying me for the space it takes up. Anyway, I came home from work yesterday and was informed by Super Grandma Babysitter, that Princess wanted to sleep in the kennel. GM said that she laid in the kennel with her pillow for about an hour, when GM finally made her get out and take a nap in a more suitable place. Fast forward to bedtime, when Princess was again playing in the kennel, and wanted to sleep in there for the night. I actually entertained a thought of letting her. I envisioned moving the kennel into her room, putting some padding on the floor, and letting her sleep in it for the night, so she would at least go to bed without a fight.
Mindless Daddy didn't share the same vision I did, and volunteered to put Princess to bed. I think he could tell the stress has finally gotten to me and I might be starting to crack.

New Phrases

Here are a few of the new phrases (good and not so good) that Princess has picked up and is now using in her daily conversations with us...
"Oh my goodness!"
"Bedtime is for Babies!"
"Bath time is for babies! I want to take a shower."
"It's so tasty."
I mean crap, where does she come up with this stuff!

Sometime we just need to cry...

So I broke one a few cardinal rules of parenting today. First off I waited too long to feed the Princess lunch, since I wanted to go pick up take out at my favorite burger joint. Secondly, I took a tired toddler in a car and wanted her to stay awake. Needless to say, drama ensued. As we were waiting for our order, Princess insisted in being let out of her car seat. I being the safety minded mama I am, refused, because…well it’s a pain to get her back into her car seat after she has been set free. Being the ever ready drama princess she is, princess launched into a full fledged toddler melt down, including screaming, crying, flailing her arms…well you get the picture. (you should know that the poor people at the drive in, noticed the melt down and thankfully got our order out a bit quicker than normal!) She continued to melt down all the way home and just when I thought the end was in sight, when we got home, I put her into her chair for lunch…and *gasp* forgot to turn off the ceiling fan… Princess launched into a fresh melt down complete with streams of tears running down her cheeks.

“Its ok princess,” I said, “There’s no need to cry about it, look, I will just shut the fan off.” She then looked at me with a tear stained face, and said in a sad little 3 year old voice,

“Mommy, I just need to cry.” It was then that I realized that just like her over emotional mom, she to just needs to cry it out sometimes.

Happy Father's Day

So this Father's Day, Mindless Daddy had Princess all to himself, since I got suckered into working a 12 hour overtime shift at work. Not all bad though, Princess loves spending Sunday morning's with Daddy. They were kind enough to stop by for a visit at work and bring me some lunch. While we were eating out lunch, I whispered to Princess, "Tell Daddy, Happy Father's Day." She then turned to Daddy, and said (with much gusto) "Happy Mother's Day!" Mindless Daddy's face crumbled, and he muttered, "I guess I spent too much time with her practicing for Mother's Day..." We tried all day to get her to say Happy Father's Day, and right up until bedtime, until I modified it and whispered, "Princess, tell daddy, Happy Daddy Day!!" to which to them screamed! "Happy Daddy Day, Daddy!"
So, we were at the Mindless household wish you a Happy Daddy Day!

The Songs We Sing.

Princess has become more involved in karaoke in the last few days which is quite funny concidering that she just turned 3. Anyway, she has picked quite the aray of songs to sing, all of which are now stuck running through my head over and over, so guess what?! I am going to share them with you, so they can be stuck in your head, running over and over.

Where's Waldo...err Princess

Here is a fun little game, a reminiscence of those Where's Waldo books from your childhood. Ok, so here is the object of the game: Attempt to find my Princess who is hiding somewhere in her room. The winner will get... a million bucks, a new car, free lunch, the satisfaction of knowing you won! On your mark, get set, GO!!





Now, wasn't that fun?! Truth be told, the Princess wasn't really hiding, but was dead asleep.

Don't I feel sheepish!

So, I was a Baaad (get it) mom/wife the other day. I was at work and hubby was fully in charge of Princess and Furball. Now most days when I call from work to check up on things, my call is answered on the first try. However this time, it took at least 4 phone calls to each of the home phone and hubby's cell phone. I was getting mildly annoyed, to put it lightly. After about 45 minutes of trying, I was down right fearful. I had thoughts running through my head that Princess and Furball had finally overpowered hubby, and he was laying on the floor hog tied with those pesky colored shoe laces that are laying all over the house, with a dog chew toy shoved in his mouth, with all 90lbs of Furball sitting a top him, while Princess had free reign of all the fruit snacks, cookies, milk and Dora the Explorer.
So, needless to say, when he finally answered the gosh dang phone, I was quite annoyed! I barked at him, what have you guys been doing?! I have been calling for over an hour! At this time, calm zen like hubby said, "Princess and I were cuddling on the couch watching tv, and she didn't want me to move. I told her it was mommy calling and she didn't want me to answer the phone. She is not like this very often any more, so I chose to snuggle and hug her instead of moving to answer the phone."
To quote the Genie from Aladdin, "Boy don't I feel sheepish...."